Succubus: A demoness from Hell whose sole purpose is to drain the souls of men by having sex with them.
Don't kid yourself, they exist. I've met one, seriously. Be careful.
Friday, April 8, 2011
ANTICIPATE
Andy, Andy, Andy. Why do you always put yourself in these situations?
I was talking to Andy this morning and he was all giddy and happy because he's about to ask out a young lady he knows and has been pining after for a while. I thought "Great!.......wait a minute, what's this girls story?"
Andy told me several things about this young lady but a few key points stuck out in my mind:
But wait, a pattern starts to emerge when you look at Andy's recent dating history:
If a train was bearing down on most of, us our first thought would be "f*ck this I'm getting off the tracks!", but not my good friend Andy. Andy sees that train and his first thought is " That's a pretty train, I'll wait here to see what it looks like up close." W. T. F.
Andy lacks the ability to anticipate. He also lacks the ability to listen to his peers. He doesn't see that if he follows this path it leads straight to trouble, kind of like the rabbits. Unfortunately for Andy he's a magnet for bad relationships, crazy women, and not so well thought out plans, so this type of situation is quite common.
You called me asking for advice, here it is: STAY AWAY!!! ( I know you won't you silly bastard, but seriously man, take off the blinders.)
So to the rest of you who may be reading this, if you have a pattern of relationships similar to Andy's I have some advice to offer you: ANTICIPATE!!!
I was talking to Andy this morning and he was all giddy and happy because he's about to ask out a young lady he knows and has been pining after for a while. I thought "Great!.......wait a minute, what's this girls story?"
Andy told me several things about this young lady but a few key points stuck out in my mind:
- In the process of a divorce (and works with her ex-husband)
- Either doesn't drink or isn't a big fan of drinking
- Directly connected to Andy's work
But wait, a pattern starts to emerge when you look at Andy's recent dating history:
- Crazy chick
- Crazy chick
- Crazy chick
- Greek nome clinger with SERIOUS issues (ok so he didn't date this one but he let her infect him with her crazy)
If a train was bearing down on most of, us our first thought would be "f*ck this I'm getting off the tracks!", but not my good friend Andy. Andy sees that train and his first thought is " That's a pretty train, I'll wait here to see what it looks like up close." W. T. F.
Andy lacks the ability to anticipate. He also lacks the ability to listen to his peers. He doesn't see that if he follows this path it leads straight to trouble, kind of like the rabbits. Unfortunately for Andy he's a magnet for bad relationships, crazy women, and not so well thought out plans, so this type of situation is quite common.
You called me asking for advice, here it is: STAY AWAY!!! ( I know you won't you silly bastard, but seriously man, take off the blinders.)
So to the rest of you who may be reading this, if you have a pattern of relationships similar to Andy's I have some advice to offer you: ANTICIPATE!!!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
TRAPPED
Make no mistake, she will set a trap at some point. Women use traps as ways of asking questions without outright asking a question. Lord knows why women do this instead of just asking questions but they do, they set traps. Sometimes these traps are actually educational (she wants to see how you'll react) and sometimes they are just to watch us squirm. No matter what the purpose of the trap is you need to know how to react.
Proper reactions are a tough thing to learn. One must first learn to recognize the trap, then casually pass through the trap unscathed. The best way to do this is react with a nonchalant answer that leaves all involved unoffended.
Example:
Andy goes on a quasi date with a girl that involves meeting up with her and some of her friends at a bar to hang out and get to know one another. Easy enough.
Andy is a fitness professional and as such is often asked various questions on the subject which he normally answers well. This particular night Andy is with a girl who is clearly overweight and a girl who is clearly underweight.
Here's the trap:
Girl - "Andy you're a fitness professional, evaluate us!!!"
(this is clearly a trap to make him say that one girl is fat and the other is too skinny)
Andy - "No no no I'm not going to do that" (WRONG)
Why is he wrong you ask? He didn't say anyone was fat or too skinny? Unfortunately for Andy what he did was imply that his evaluation would have been hurtful or uncomfortable for them to hear, and thus he is automatically guilty of being judgmental. Andy has said something rude without saying anything at all.
The correct answer would have been (said nonchalantly) " No one is perfect, we all have things to work on. That's why I stay in business."
This response is perfect. You have aknowledged that the ladies do have some issues but you haven't called them out or made any indication to having negative thoughts about them. You have included yourself in the imperfect group which puts everyone at ease with their own issues, then you casually changed the subject to the fact that you have a steady job. Perfect.
Keep an eye out for traps and practice answering correctly. Remember, the best way to react is with a nonchalant answer that leaves all involved unoffended.
Proper reactions are a tough thing to learn. One must first learn to recognize the trap, then casually pass through the trap unscathed. The best way to do this is react with a nonchalant answer that leaves all involved unoffended.
Example:
Andy goes on a quasi date with a girl that involves meeting up with her and some of her friends at a bar to hang out and get to know one another. Easy enough.
Andy is a fitness professional and as such is often asked various questions on the subject which he normally answers well. This particular night Andy is with a girl who is clearly overweight and a girl who is clearly underweight.
Here's the trap:
Girl - "Andy you're a fitness professional, evaluate us!!!"
(this is clearly a trap to make him say that one girl is fat and the other is too skinny)
Andy - "No no no I'm not going to do that" (WRONG)
Why is he wrong you ask? He didn't say anyone was fat or too skinny? Unfortunately for Andy what he did was imply that his evaluation would have been hurtful or uncomfortable for them to hear, and thus he is automatically guilty of being judgmental. Andy has said something rude without saying anything at all.
The correct answer would have been (said nonchalantly) " No one is perfect, we all have things to work on. That's why I stay in business."
This response is perfect. You have aknowledged that the ladies do have some issues but you haven't called them out or made any indication to having negative thoughts about them. You have included yourself in the imperfect group which puts everyone at ease with their own issues, then you casually changed the subject to the fact that you have a steady job. Perfect.
Keep an eye out for traps and practice answering correctly. Remember, the best way to react is with a nonchalant answer that leaves all involved unoffended.
Monday, April 4, 2011
NONCHALANT
Nonchalant: coolly unconcerned, indifferent, or unexcited; casual.
Learn it, know it, live it.
Learn it, know it, live it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)