Friday, April 8, 2011


Andy, Andy, Andy.  Why do you always put yourself in these situations?

I was talking to Andy this morning and he was all giddy and happy because he's about to ask out a young lady he knows and has been pining after for a while.  I thought "Great!.......wait a minute, what's this girls story?"

Andy told me several things about this young lady but a few key points stuck out in my mind:
  • In the process of a divorce (and works with her ex-husband)
  • Either doesn't drink or isn't a big fan of drinking
  • Directly connected to Andy's work
WTF Andy!?!  Has history taught you nothing!?!  Why on God's green earth would you even THINK of asking this girl out?  Has your brain run out of red flags?  You're a habitual party animal with jealousy issues and a new career, do you see the problem?

But wait, a pattern starts to emerge when you look at Andy's recent dating history:
  • Crazy chick
  • Crazy chick
  • Crazy chick
  • Greek nome clinger with SERIOUS issues (ok so he didn't date this one but he let her infect him with her crazy)
I see the problem...YOU HAVE NO FORESIGHT!!!  If only you had had a friend to warn you of the impending doom these women brought about.........oh wait, you did.  ME!  Silly bastard.

If a train was bearing down on most of, us our first thought would be "f*ck this I'm getting off the tracks!", but not my good friend Andy.  Andy sees that train and his first thought is " That's a pretty train, I'll wait here to see what it looks like up close."  W. T. F.

Andy lacks the ability to anticipate.  He also lacks the ability to listen to his peers. He doesn't see that if he follows this path it leads straight to trouble, kind of like the rabbits.   Unfortunately for Andy he's a magnet for bad relationships, crazy women, and not so well thought out plans, so this type of situation is quite common. 

You called me asking for advice, here it is: STAY AWAY!!! ( I know you won't you silly bastard, but seriously man, take off the blinders.)

So to the rest of you who may be reading this, if you have a pattern of relationships similar to Andy's I have some advice to offer you:  ANTICIPATE!!!

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